Awaiting Fate Read online

  Suddenly, it overwhelmed her, another beautiful mind-blowing orgasm. When she thought it couldn’t get more intense, that same intense pleasure radiated into her, leaving her breathless as wave after wave rippled through her. Her arms tightening around him, it was all she could do—make sure he didn’t let her go.

  Chapter 20

  Two weeks ago

  Twilight was beautiful in Northern New York. As the sun receded, the sky became a rainbow of colors above the plethora of trees and land. The temperature had dropped slightly. Olivia loved it, all of it. The reason, around this time every day, she went for a stroll in her garden. Her mind as of late filled with thoughts of Cain. She knew why and tried her hardest to fight it. It had her contemplating another run.

  But she couldn’t. Since Jocelyn had been attacked at the estate, Landon refused to allow her to run unaccompanied at night. It seemed like it had been ages since then. She didn’t care much for company on her runs. It was her time to enjoy, and being accompanied would ruin the feeling of utter freedom.

  “Liv,” his voice resounded behind her.

  She hesitated, attempting to control the thundering of her heart before she confronted him. Finally, she turned to face him. Her heart clenched in her chest, struck once again by his handsome features. Every day she fell in love with him a little more.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  Of course, he sensed her disillusion. He was an empath. It was useless even to try to hide anything from him, or any demon for that matter.

  He had to know she was in love with him. The thought distressed her more. Did he pity her foolish feelings for a man she could never have? Was that the reason he came to see her every day?

  Drawing a step closer, he said, “Liv?”

  She lifted her chin, a poor attempt to act confident, then lied, “I’m fine.”

  Avoiding his stare, she strode toward him and took a seat on the bench surrounded by calla lilies.

  “Mind if I join you?”

  A dry, humorless laugh bubbled from her. “Of course, Cain. Why would you need to ask?”

  After a moment, he sat beside her, not too close, and released a breath, then he said, “You don’t seem to want company.”

  His somber voice made her head snap to face him. It wasn’t like him.

  “Don’t tell me my awful mood has rubbed off on you,” she said with a smile, her best attempt to jest and lighten his mood. “I’ll have to kick you out.”

  He laughed, but like hers moments before it held no humor.

  She lifted her head and admired the stars. From the corner of her eye, she realized he’d done the same.

  “What do you want most in the world?” he asked, surprising her.

  Shifting her attention to him, her eyes sought his. Just in time, he turned looking her way, waiting for her response. With that one somber look, she realized the glimmer always present had dimmed.

  You, she thought in response to his question, but left the word unsaid, wondering exactly what to say.

  Looking away from him, she whispered, “To be loved, truly loved by a man.” Before he could comment on it, she turned the tables on him. “What do you want most in the world?”

  ****

  “What do you want most in the world?”

  You, he thought but left the truth unsaid.

  What could he say? He wanted to seek shelter in her arms and comfort in her touch. He wanted to come home to her face, her smile—her. He wanted her barefoot and pregnant with life they created growing inside her. He wanted her to love him so much she couldn’t fathom living and breathing without him. He was already there.

  “I want a lot of things, too many,” he finally said.

  A cop-out, so the moment he’d spoken the words, he regretted them. He needed her to trust him, but his situation made it difficult. He couldn’t tell her the truth, only a version of it without revealing too many details.

  “I want my fated to love me,” he said it so simply.

  He hoped she would respond. More than anything he wanted her to ask him if he’d found his. Because he knew if she did, he’d never be able to lie and, finally, she’d know. He waited for her to say something, but she never did, so he found himself gazing at the stars praying he could magically cure her sadness.

  He didn’t get his wish, but he did sit with her for hours. He didn’t speak, only listened to the sounds of their breaths, wishing for more.

  It was inevitable to want more, more of her, all of her, but for now, sitting in the dark, gazing at the stars was enough.

  Chapter 21

  His Olivia was heaven, a well of desire and unforgettable ecstasy: her taste so sweet, her skin so soft, her warmth so gratifying. Every moan she uttered was sweet surrender, surrender to him.

  The moments of passion with Olivia were gone, but his mind refused to give them up. Relishing her lush body beneath his, her breaths at his neck, he couldn’t force himself to move, couldn’t force himself to stop reliving the moment. Catching his breath, he recalled their first time as a true defining moment in his life, a glimpse of what their lives would entail together. Bliss, true unhindered bliss, bliss beyond anything he’d ever experienced.

  His mate clutched him still, her arms around him, her nails digging into his back as if she feared he’d disappear. After having waited so long, it was excruciatingly gratifying.

  He couldn’t blame her. He was doing the same, one arm around her waist the other around her neck, holding onto her, vowing he’d never leave her.

  It had been well worth the wait, the torment and the pain, the anguish of watching her live without him because now she was his to guard, protect and love endlessly.

  He placed his lips over her neck, the spot he’d imagined marking. His gums still ached, throbbing with the unbearable desire to claim her. Perhaps, lingering over the spot he wanted to mark wasn’t a smart thing to do. It would only succeed in reminding him what he so desperately craved. Except he wouldn’t because he understood how much her brother meant to her, because he knew she wanted his blessing.

  His eyes fluttered closed. He buried his face in her neck and inhaled her scent, remembering the sweet sound of her moans with every touch, with every flick of his tongue and with every thrust allowing him to sink deeper and deeper into her.

  A nasty thought then reared its head. He’d been out of his mind with desire, with need. He’d tried to be gentle, as gentle as he’d promised, but had he? Were her nails digging into him in pain instead of passion?

  He pulled away from her quickly to stare into her sea-blue eyes. She looked like an angel with her swollen kissed lips. Her dark brown hair fanned around her like a halo, except for the tears spilling from her eyes.

  His worst fear confirmed. He’d hurt her. He’d been too rough, too demanding of her virgin body. It should have been perfect for both of them, not just him. He’d never forgive himself.

  Swallowing the bile rising in the back of his throat, he managed, “Darling, I’m so sorry…I—”

  Despite the tears, she smiled. Her hands cupped his face, then she lifted herself slightly to press her lips against his.

  He couldn’t pull away, not even to finish the apology she so deserved.

  When she did, she whispered, “That was…incredible.”

  Incredible? But he’d hurt her! “But I hurt—”

  “No,” she said, adamantly. “You didn’t.”

  He hadn’t hurt her? Then why was she in tears? “Why are you crying?”

  She swallowed, her fingers softly grazing his cheek. “I’ve never been so happy in my life.”

  A warmth filling his chest, he reached out with his senses, felt what she did. He then cupped her face, his fingers grazing her skin. “Me neither, darling.”

  Her gaze drew away from his then she said on a whisper, “I think…I think I felt your release.”

  He nodded. “I tried to hold it back, but couldn’t…” He’d lost hold of his emotions and involuntarily projected them
. He’d been holding back too much: his strength, the need to claim her, and his emotions. Something had to give. The least damaging to her was how he felt. He’d planned to show her in time, but her first time he hadn’t wanted to overwhelm her.

  “I’m sorry—”

  “Don’t be,” she smiled. “It was wonderful.”

  He held her for several more moments, unwilling to let their moment end, then shifted his weight and nestled her on his chest.

  After a long moment, as he laced his fingers through her hair, he said, “Darling, I’m running you a bath and then you have to eat.”

  Snuggling closer, she whispered against his chest, “No, a little while longer.”

  He smirked then materialized them in her en suite bathroom, appearing with her body pressed against his, his arm around her waist, holding her up. Her hands clutched him, nails digging into his skin, she gasped, startled, then laughed.

  “Mrs. Thaler, you will do as I say.” Shifting away from her, he turned on the faucet in the bath and tested its heat.

  “I’d rather lie in bed with you and maybe…”

  He knew where her thoughts were headed. His had been headed in the same direction moments after their release. No one could blame him. She was his mate, the one he’d waited for, for centuries, the one he’d watched over for months, and she’d been lying naked beside him. He’d had her. Not all of her, he hadn’t claimed her, but he had taken pleasure, given her pleasure and that meant he now knew what he’d been missing. His mind would never roam far from taking pleasure in her again.

  “There’s nothing I would love more, but we should wait until tomorrow, you may be sore…that’s why you should bathe. The warm water will help.”

  “I guess…” she mumbled. “Are you joining me?”

  He kissed her forehead then said, “Anything for my mate.” As she climbed into the tub, he said, “I’ll be right back, love.”

  He didn’t waste time. Materializing in the kitchen, he rummaged through the cabinets to find a tray, wine glasses and a plate. He then opened the fridge to grab several cheeses, some deli meats, grapes, and white wine. After arranging the meats and cheeses on a plate along with the wine, he materialized in the bathroom again.

  “Room service,” he said.

  Smiling, she said, “I’m not really hungry, for food.” She blushed.

  Come to think of it, neither was he. “Humor me. You haven’t eaten since this afternoon.”

  He placed the tray on the side of the tub then turned off the faucet and settled in behind her, straddling her. When she laid her back against his chest, he handed her a glass of wine.

  “I didn’t know you drank wine.”

  “Not usually, but there comes a time when—”

  Angling her head to meet his eyes, she teased, “Like when you’re forcing your mate to bathe and eat?”

  Running his hand down the side of her arm, he smiled. “Exactly.”

  They sipped their wine for several minutes before he reached for the assorted deli meats and a slice of cheese and fed her.

  “Thank you. You know I was just teasing you before.”

  “I know, darling,” he said, lightly kissed her temple before he reached for a slice a cheese for himself.

  “How long do you think this will last?”

  Not liking the sound of the question, he tensed, forced himself to swallow then asked, “What?”

  “You know when couples first start dating they can’t keep their hands off each other. It’s a phase—”

  Fuck. Why on earth she’d think this was temporary? They were immortals, destined for one another. It was much more than what mortals experienced. They were fated mates and what they felt would never fade.

  “Where would you get the idea this is just a phase?” With every word, he fought to keep his tone level.

  She shrugged. “I’ve read about it in magazines and—”

  He gripped her chin, turned her face to the side to meet his then said, “Liv, this isn’t a phase. Whatever’s mentioned in magazines doesn’t pertain to us. We are mates, fated. This is how it will always be with us.”

  “But after a hundred years, you won’t be as attracted to me—”

  She wasn’t getting it, so he said it more firmly. “You’re my mate, Olivia. You are the only one for me. I will always be insanely attracted to you. I will always want you. I will always love you a hundred years from now, or a thousand, or however long I live.”

  Her face softened then her gaze fell away from his when she said, “But I’m not experienced in—”

  “You’re the best I’ve ever had,” he said without thought. He meant it. She was the best of everything. Everything with her was like the first time, and he loved he was her first and loved more he would be her last.

  The tension in her shoulders dissolved, slumping slightly. He released her face, allowing her to turn it away from him.

  Inwardly, he cursed, hating her insecurities. It seemed every compliment he’d ever given her hadn’t sunk in. His Olivia was a beautiful, naturally quick-witted woman, but had no self-esteem to show for it because she’d been too sheltered. He blamed her brother; it was Landon’s fault for keeping her secluded at the estate and away from men who weren’t terrified of him. It should be a crime no man had ever told her just how beautiful she was.

  Now, it was Cain’s job to make her realize she was beautiful, special, beyond anything and anyone, and especially, to make her understand she was all there was for him.

  Then an ugly thought reared its head: his own insecurity and deep-seated fear. Would her insecurities cause her to leave him again? There was no question Landon wouldn’t be thrilled she was his mate. That meant he’d do whatever it took to keep them apart. What he feared was Landon playing on her insecurities, making her run from him, again. Was it a matter of when instead of if?

  After feeding her several more slices of meat and cheese, he grabbed the soap and lathered her back then chest, arms, legs, exploring every bit of her body. As he did, he told her why he found each bit of her beautiful. It was all he could do to assure her, so he knew he would do it again, over and over until she believed.

  After their bath, he dried her and tucked her into bed then nestled himself next to her with her head on his shoulder and his arms tight around her. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, shutting his eyes tightly.

  Tonight, he wouldn’t think about her leaving. Tonight, he would enjoy her in his arms.

  Tomorrow, he’d wake with her beside him and continue to tell her she was beautiful, and every day after that, too. Eventually, she’d believe him.

  ****

  Cain dreamt and dreamt, the sweet dreams he dreamt replaced with a new dream. He was alone, cold and empty, subconsciously, realizing the warmth that soothed him throughout the night was gone.

  He reached for her, but his arm landed on the cold, empty mattress. Immediately, his eyes snapped open, scanning his surroundings.

  He was alone.

  Olivia was gone.

  The dream became reality.

  He couldn’t prevent the panic, fear or dread that enveloped him immediately. He wanted to believe the day they’d spent together meant as much to her as it meant to him—everything. He wanted to believe she hadn’t left him, possibly she’d just needed to use the restroom, but before he even searched the bathroom, he knew he wouldn’t find her there. The sheets next to him were cold, too cold, as if she left some time ago not just minutes. Either way, he searched the bathroom and closet, and just as he’d expected, she wasn’t there.

  With trembling hands, he searched the second story of the home, just as he’d done the day before, room by room. In a flash, he materialized on the stairs. There, his gaze landed on her, feet from him, climbing quickly, holding a tray of food and coffee.

  Relief swarmed him. Struggling to tamp down the panic that clawed him, he didn’t act fast enough. Olivia collided with him. The tray of breakfast hit his chest before tipping toward her, spilling co
ffee, food, utensils, plates and cups. She gasped and stumbled. He snaked his arm around her waist, steadying her. The crashing sound of their breakfast, broken plates and cups, smashing into the floor came a second later.

  Her eyes burning him with awareness, she said, “I’m sorry I didn’t see you.”

  He took in her appearance. Her hair hadn’t been brushed, her face was cosmetic free, and she smelled of him. Stunning, he thought, especially wearing his shirt that showed off her long lean legs. Now, it was drenched in coffee and so was she.

  His mate had been making him breakfast, and he thought she’d left him. Who was the insecure one? His panic had ebbed, but the dread and fear were harder to tame.

  “Cain?” she asked. “Are you okay?”

  He nodded. “I’m sorry,” he said. “You should go change. I’ll clean this up.”

  “I can help—”

  “No,” he said, firmly, avoiding her gaze.

  As if picking up his bleak thoughts, she asked, “What’s wrong?”

  He didn’t trust himself to answer, so he said nothing. Instead, he kneeled and began to pick up the pieces of broken glass.

  “You’re not going to tell me?” she asked, so softly, so solemn he barely heard.

  When he didn’t respond, she turned and headed upstairs. A moment later, he heard the shower running.

  Idiot, he scolded. Why hadn’t he just told her? His pride? Did he have any left when it came to her?

  He finished picking up the pieces of glass and began picking up the food. Sighing heavily, he continued to berate himself. He moved into the kitchen in search of a mop when he heard the shower turn off. Finding the mop in a closet off the side of the kitchen, he took it, headed back toward the stairs and began mopping.

  When he finished, he looked up and found her at the top of the staircase, looking down at him, wearing a pink knitted dress that, in his opinion, revealed too much cleavage. She’d showered and washed her hair, which now hung dripping wet around her.