Heavenly Desire Read online

  “I’ve been—”

  “Listen,” he cut her off, his tone harsh. “I’ll be there in a day or two. I found Ashley.”

  “What?”

  “Your sister, Jade. I’m bringing her to New York.”

  “But…you found her…she’s with you?” She spoke quickly, which she did often when she was excited.

  “Yes, she’s with me. I haven’t explained anything to her yet, but I wanted to give you a heads-up. We should be there in a day or two.”

  “When did you…how long ago—”

  “Jenna,” he snapped. “Is it really important?”

  “No, I guess not,” she said softly.

  He sighed, guilt flooding him for taking out his frustration on his friend.

  “Is she okay?”

  Running his hand through his tousled hair, he replied somberly, “I hope so.”

  “What do you mean you hope so?” Her voice rose.

  He released a heavy breath then admitted, “Asher showed up, attacked her. I got there in time and got her away, but…I panicked, and I wanted to get out of London fast, so I thought we should fly, then I…sprouted my wings and…she fainted.”

  “Clyde!” She yelled so loud he had to pull the phone away from his ear. “If you ever scare me like that again, I will set you on fire!”

  “Would you prefer I didn’t tell you?” he reasoned.

  “I would prefer you not preface it the way you did. My heart nearly stopped beating. I thought it was something serious. On top of everything else…and you…”

  “It is serious. She fainted, and it was my fault.” The whole damned thing is my fault.

  “Yes, she did, but Asher could have stabbed her or poisoned her or you could have dropped her while you were flying—”

  Dropped her while I was flying? Is she serious? He rolled his eyes. “Okay, Jenna. I get it.”

  “Okay, so how are you getting here? I can have one of the demons materialize there or one of the vampires,” she suggested, her tone returning to excitement.

  “No, no. We’ll fly.”

  “Won’t you get tired flying such a long distance?”

  No, he wouldn’t, he was an angel, but it wouldn’t be very comfortable for Ashley. On a heavy exasperated sigh, he added, “On a plane.”

  “You are flying across the Atlantic on a plane?”

  “Yes.”

  “Like mortals?”

  “Yes,” he repeated more firmly.

  “But why? I mean—”

  Because I said so, he wanted to shout in frustration but held his tongue. His job was to ensure Ashley’s safety. He hadn’t known her for long, but he knew she was vastly different from Jenna and Jocelyn. Where they were impulsive and fearless, Ashley was cautious and timid. She would need time to digest everything he would tell her.

  “Jenna, I need time to explain all of this to her. She needs time, too. It’s much too soon. Besides, I can teleport her myself.”

  “What? Since when?”

  “Since always. Angels can teleport or materialize as your demon mate refers to it.”

  “You never told me that, and I’ve never seen you teleport before,” she argued.

  She was right. There was a lot about himself and his abilities he had never shared with her because he couldn’t. No immortals knew the extent of the abilities angels possessed.

  “I know and the reason you’ve never seen me do it is because we don’t often. We prefer to fly.”

  “But what if something goes wrong? What if Asher finds her or—”

  “If anything I’ll teleport her myself, but I don’t want to unless it’s necessary.”

  He was about to hang up when she said, “Hey, I’ve missed you around here.”

  “I’ve missed you, too,” he admitted. He had missed Jenna those months he had spent alone in heaven trying to rid himself of his emotions.

  “Okay, love you,” she whispered.

  “Love you, too. Bye.”

  He hung up and turned to find Ashley wide-eyed and staring at him expectantly.

  ****

  Love you, too? It felt like a knife had pierced her heart. She replayed the words that had woken her from her slumber wondering who he spoke to, who he loved and why he’d lied.

  Then the awful realization dawned on her, he’d probably lied about everything he’d told her. Once the fool always the fool, she thought miserably.

  “Jade…I mean Ash,” he corrected.

  Her eyes widened again. The fear she sensed before rekindled.

  The man who had attacked her knew her real name, too, but how? No one knew her real name. Was Clyde like the man who attacked her? They both possessed extraordinary abilities, like she did. No one could move that fast, then again, Clyde had wings, and the man who attacked her had disappeared at one point. She couldn’t do either.

  Clyde stepped toward her. Instinctively, she moved away.

  “I’m not going to hurt you, Ash.” His voice was soft and soothing so unlike the man who’d attacked her.

  Should she believe him? She wanted to. She wanted to believe he was the same person she thought him to be, but was he?

  Her fear spoke for her. “Don’t call me that!” she yelled. “Only people I know call me that, and I don’t know anything about you!”

  “Yes, you do. You trust me, Ash. I’ve never hurt you. I’ll never hurt you,” he said softly.

  “It depends on what your definition of hurting someone is, doesn’t it?” she blurted, not knowing whether she referred to him lying about his relationship status or his abilities.

  He flinched as if her words stung. His expression changed. The compassion she’d seen before replaced with deep hurt. As if she could feel it, her chest tightened at the sight overshadowing her own hurt. It served to fuel her anger. He had no right to feel wounded. She hadn’t lied. She’d been the fool who’d fallen for his deceit.

  He blanketed his expression, took a deep breath then exhaled, “Let me explain.”

  Her eyes narrowed. She didn’t want to hear a word from him. “Why should I?”

  “Because you need to know what I’m going to tell you,” he said delicately.

  “No, I don’t!”

  “Yes, you do, and if you want to stay alive I suggest you let me do my job.” His voice rose slightly.

  Her jaw dropped then she asked, “Is that a threat?”

  He shook his head. His eyes, holding hers, softened. “No, it isn’t a threat. There are people out there looking for you and your sisters.”

  She gasped. My sisters? The sisters she’d been separated from when their mother died twenty years ago? How did he know about them? She barely remembered them herself having been only three when they’d been separated. “What do you know about them?”

  He took a step toward her, and again she slid farther away from him. He sighed. “Ash, I’m an angel.”

  “That’s…that’s…” Her mind swirled with thoughts from earlier, his wings, seven-foot tall white wings embedded with silver specks.

  “It’s the truth. You saw my wings. You and your sisters are part of a new breed of immortals prophesized to evolve called Elementals. Once you meet your mates, your abilities develop. You have the power to control and create the four classic elements: earth, fire, wind and water.”

  “Wait, wait, immortals? I’m just—”

  “A regular mortal?” He paused, letting it sink in. “You don’t believe that yourself. You know you can move just as fast as I can, hear whispers from across a room, pick up scents dogs can’t. You heal faster, too.”

  “That doesn’t mean I’m immortal!” she shouted in denial. All the while her mind chanted: This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening.

  “You are, and so are your sisters. When your biological mother died, each of you was given a guardian angel because it was prophesized the winner of the war brewing between immortals would be determined by your breed.”

  “Where are they? Where are my sisters? I want to
hear this from them.”

  “I was just on the phone with Jenna. She lives in New York, so does Jocelyn.”

  “I…I…” She trailed off, her gaze drifting away from his. Was he telling the truth? Was it Jenna he claimed to love?

  “I know this is hard to believe, but it’s the truth. I came to London searching for you.”

  Her eyes met his again.

  “The Angel Lords, which assign angels their duties, assigned me to guard you, to find you and take you to your sisters.”

  “So you are my guardian angel?” she asked in disbelief.

  He shrugged. “I am now because the angel originally assigned to you fell.”

  Quirking a brow, she asked, “He fell? From where?”

  “He’s a fallen angel, the man who attacked you. He allied with the Malums.”

  “The who?”

  “The Malum Inmortalis. They are a group of immortals who want to rule mortals and immortals. They are rogues who indiscriminately kill mortals and immortals. They are the cause of the upcoming war.”

  She sighed and rubbed her face. He took another step toward her, and she slid farther away stopping only when her back pressed against the headboard of the bed.

  That same pained expression contorted his features, and again she felt it slice through her.

  “If I wanted to hurt you, why would I have saved you from Asher?”

  “Who’s—”

  “The man who attacked you, the fallen angel, your former guardian.”

  Neither of them spoke for a while then finally she broke the silence. “I need to hear this from my sisters.”

  “I’ll take you to New York.”

  New York? The man was insane. Did he really expect her to drop her life and fly across the Atlantic based on the unbelievable things he’d just told her? Immortals, Elementals, her sisters, Malums, angels? Farfetched and mind boggling.

  “No way—”

  “You can’t go back to your old life.” His voice remained soft and reassuring. “You think Asher isn’t going to find you? You have no choice, Ashley. He’ll find you, him or whatever other Malum they send for you. If you go back, you’ll endanger everyone you know.”

  Ashley closed her eyes tightly searching deep within herself for a reasonable explanation, yet came up empty.

  She swallowed past the lump in her throat wondering if she should believe him, if she should trust him. It explained the unexplainable, the abilities she wondered about but never put much thought into because she had more pressing matters.

  If he was right, then the life she lived to this point hadn’t been real. Everything she endured had been for no reason, and nothing she accomplished mattered much now when she was supposed to start her “real” life.

  She thought she didn’t know anything about Clyde, as it turned out, she might not know much about herself either.

  Her eyes welled. Cradling her legs, she covered her face unwilling to let him to see the flood of tears brimming in her eyes. She fought to keep them at bay, but lost the battle. Unable to help it, she cried. She cried so hard she didn’t notice when Clyde sat at the edge of the bed.

  Until he pulled her against him, wrapping one arm around her and cupped the back of her head with the other holding her tenderly as if she were made of glass. She felt the strength of his arms around her, the warmth of his body soothing her. Shivers erupted over her skin as he rubbed his hand repeatedly down her back.

  She didn’t flinch or push him away. She let him hold her because despite everything he hadn’t told her, he had saved her twice. If she was honest with herself, she needed to be held. She needed someone else to be strong while she hung the shield she’d hid behind most of her life and broke down. It felt good. No, it felt damned great, even as the life she’d built crumbled around her.

  “It’s okay,” he whispered every so often. “I’m here for you, Ash.”

  Every time he spoke, guilt washed over her anew, and she cried harder shuddering against his broad bare chest. She’d screamed and yelled at him, and treated him as if he had the plague, not allowing him an inch closer, and yet still he held her and comforted her.

  She wasn’t sure if she could trust him completely. She wasn’t sure if she believed the things he’d told her either, but the fact was she’d been attacked by a man who possessed abilities beyond hers. Clyde had saved her and offered help. What choice did she have? She barely knew Clyde, but he hadn’t hurt her, not intentionally or physically. He wasn’t the reason her voice was sore, her throat ached, or the reason she was sure without glancing in the mirror her neck was lined with bruises. That was Asher’s fault, and he wanted to kill her.

  Clyde omitted the truth, but it didn’t matter much now. He’d befriend her, saved her from a thief, taken her out to dinner and sightseeing, brought her food after a long day and saved her from a fallen angel. Clyde was the man who comforted her now as she sobbed like a fool. Had he told her the truth earlier, she wouldn’t have believed him because she had trouble believing him now even after seeing his wings. There was never a good time to tell someone immortals existed and the life they had lived to this point would be no more. If she believed Clyde, he knew where two of her sisters were, and soon she would start anew, again.

  When the well of tears dried and she couldn’t cry anymore, she lifted her head and wiped the wetness from her face. Her eyes met his bright blue ones. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

  His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, staring at her in apparent disbelief. “What for?” he asked, his arms falling away from her.

  They still sat close, but she missed the comfort, his heat immediately. “I was mean to you.”

  She couldn’t understand why he seemed surprised. But besides that, there were other things she needed to know. “Can you tell me more about my sisters?”

  He nodded and took a deep breath. “I was Jenna’s guardian since you and your sisters were orphaned. When she enrolled at NYU, I enrolled as well and became her friend. I figured it would be easier to guard her that way, so I assumed the life of a mortal, enrolled in all her classes. We hit it off right away. Sophomore year, we moved in together on campus. After graduation, we were both hired by New York Newspaper, then she met her mate.”

  “Who?”

  “Remember I told you Elementals don’t get their powers until they meet their mates?”

  She nodded.

  “Jenna didn’t get hers until she met Lucas.”

  “But…what’s a mate?”

  “A mate is the person you are destined to spend eternity with. Most immortal races mate.”

  “So you and Jenna weren’t a couple?” She hated herself for asking.

  “No. We were always just friends.”

  Relief swelling inside her, she released a breath. “Is Lucas an Elemental, too?”

  Shaking his head, he admitted, “No. He’s a demon. Actually, he’s the king of demons.”

  She felt the color drain from her face.

  He wrapped one arm around her, encasing her in his hold again. “Don’t worry. It’s not what you think. He loves her. He would never hurt her or you, for that matter.”

  “B-but he’s a demon.”

  Clyde cleared his throat and said, “All immortals are people, Ash. They look just like me and you and any other mortal. There are good and bad mortals just as there are good and bad immortals.”

  She sighed, then he continued, “Jocelyn is mated to the alpha of werewolves.”

  “A werewolf?”

  He smiled. “Yeah, Landon. She graduated from NYU recently.”

  “What else? Vampires?” It started off as a tease, but at this point it wouldn’t surprise her.

  “Yeah, and elves, fairies, witches, warlocks and there are other types of shifters too and…”

  Wow. “What about Jayla and Jillian?”

  He hesitated then admitted, “We haven’t found them yet.”

  “I thought they had guardian angels watching them?”

&nb
sp; He sighed. “They did, but three of them lost track of your sisters. I was Jenna’s. Asher was yours, but he fell several months ago and went after Jocelyn.”

  “H-how did they lose track of—”

  “I’m not sure, Ash.” He sounded defeated as if it hurt him to admit he didn’t know more.

  She couldn’t stand to see that defeat in him because for some inexplicable reason, his hurt pained her, so she looked away from him and changed the subject. “Jenna and Jocelyn are happy with their mates and their lives?”

  He nodded. “They are.”

  Unwillingly, she yawned. She could no longer fight her exhaustion, even though her fear had yet to subside.

  “You should get some sleep.”

  “What about you?”

  “I don’t need to sleep.” He stood and turned to walk away.

  “Clyde?”

  He faced her. “Yes.”

  How could she ask a man she didn’t know to hold her? Tears welled in her eyes. “Do you think…I mean…would it be too much to ask…if you…”

  He quickly closed the distance between them. Not a moment later, her hands were enclosed in his.

  “I’m really sorry. I just…I’m tired, but I’m…scared,” she admitted, staring deep into his blue eyes, tender with sympathy.

  “Ash, I’m here,” he said, then kissed her palm sending shivers through her. “I won’t let anything happen to you,” he promised, then slid on the bed beside her and wrapped his arms around her.

  The warmth of his body soothed the deepest parts of her soul, easing the fear in her heart. Moments later, sleep claimed her.

  Her last thought: He smells of man, musk and lavender.

  Chapter 7

  She was safe, but the memory of his failure burned. It was his fault. He’d put her at risk when he should’ve been protecting her.

  He’d been assigned to guard her a week ago, but the moment he’d seen her, his plans shifted. He hadn’t been in control of himself or his emotions. The emotions he’d fought so hard to rid himself of, she’d stirred anew, even evoking some he’d never felt before.

  He had postponed his duty, to tell her his reason for finding her because he’d felt it wasn’t the right time, because he’d felt she needed more time. In the end, he let how he felt get in the way of his duty to her, to heaven and to destiny when what he felt meant nothing in the grand scheme of things. It was his duty to keep her safe. And in some ways, he’d failed.